Good morning. It’s Friday, November 1st.

In today’s email:

• Focus: Sleeping with a Partner

• Cook: A Healthy Diwali Treat

• In the News: Alcohol = Cancer?

• Brain Games: Sports Connections w/ Northwestern

Stat of the Day

The decrease in testosterone from just five nights of getting 5 or less hours of sleep. See what can happen in just a week!??! (National Institute of Health)

Favorites

For me - the room really matters when getting good sleep and feeling refreshed in the AM.

Here’s a few of my go-to’s that have been game changers when it comes to catching quality ZZZ’s:

1. Cold Pillow - it all starts with the pillow. I hate going to a hotel and getting some "empty” pillow with no support and just a few feathers. This is where I’ll splurge because my head is on it 30% of my life. Here’s the brand I use that’s not just great support, but also provides maximum cooling! 🥶

2. Clean Mattress - I look forward to getting into bed with this Keetsa mattress. I’ve also heard great things about Avocado - which isn’t just high quality and cozy, but totally organic and clean. Don’t skimp on where you sleep! 🛏️

3. Bamboo Sheets - staying cool is key for a low body temperature and deep sleep. These sheets from Cozy Earth are hypoallergenic, don’t pill, and keep you cool at night. 🀤

4. Light Alarm Clock - did you know that it’s better to wake up from light than sound in the morning? Until the clocks change tomorrow it is dark in the AM, but this $35 clock is a great way to wake up and has all the features you need without spending $100+. ☀️

Focus

Sleeping With a Partner

We’ve covered the basics for how to get great sleep:

• Here’s our PM routine 

• Here’s our AM routine

We’ve also written about the stuff that disrupts your sleep - like caffeine and alcohol.

But what about your partner?

Turns out that even those people living with a partner (whether they’re married or not) sometimes like to sleep alone.

About a quarter of all couples sleep in different rooms - but over one-third wake up in different rooms.

This suggests what the research now tells us - for some people, sharing a bed might be crushing your sleep and you need to go somewhere else.

And this trend is only getting bigger - while 22% of Boomers no longer sleep together, 43% of Millennials prioritize sleep over middle of the night cuddling.

It’s what sleep expert Matt Walker calls “sleep separation.”

For some people, sleeping together makes us toss and turn all night long. And while we want to be close to our partner, the lack of sleep might be doing more harm than good.

Couples that are sleep-deprived get into more fights and have less empathy for the other person. We don’t just have a short fuse for our partner, without sleep we get frustrated and can take everyone on our emotional roller coaster.

Lack of sleep can also disrupt sex.

When we’re in survival mode (i.e., getting through the day because we’re exhausted), there’s no drive to have sex. Even more - our hormones that drive us to want to have sex decline significantly (see Stat of the Day).

It’s not just testosterone. Estrogen also declines when we don’t get enough sleep. Without sufficient estrogen, women lose their libido and won’t create the necessary lubrication for sex.

So will sleeping apart lead to more sleeping together?

Maybe for some.

If you really aren’t waking up refreshed - it makes sense to have a conversation with your partner about some options for what you can do as a couple.

If it’s about stealing the covers or moving around too much - maybe try the Scandinavian method of having side-by-side beds.

But if the problem is snoring, find a CPAP to fight snoring/sleep apnea, or different sleep schedules - then maybe you need different walls, not just just different beds.*

* NOTE: Research shows most couples naturally align on the same sleep schedule (for obvious reasons). This synchronization causes our body temperatures to drop at the same time - roughly 1.8°F, which is essential for sleep. Interestingly, this temp change is linked to REM sleep and dreaming, meaning we actually get on the same dream cycle as our partner.

Keep the Connection

But one of the best reasons to have a partner is to have someone next to you when you go to bed and when you wake up. Humans and other animals have a longing for physical touch before going to sleep.

Can you replicate that with a goodnight kiss and morning cuddle - even if you skip the time together when you’re unconscious?

Whatever you decide - just put your relationship first. And you can’t do that if you’re always tired.

Thrive25 Partner Spotlight

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Cook

Anjeer Barfi

Anjeer Barfi is a nutritious Indian sweet, perfect for Diwali celebrations. Made from dried figs (anjeer), almonds, cashews, and pistachios, this treat is rich in fiber, healthy fats, and essential nutrients - without the sugar overload. Figs provide natural sweetness and digestive benefits, while nuts offer heart-healthy fats and protein. Enhanced with aromatic ghee and cardamom, this festive delight embodies the traditions of Diwali: sharing joy, health, and prosperity.

H&L in the News

Alcohol’s Hidden Cancer Threats: New research links alcohol to rising cancer rates in young adults. Experts debunk the "healthy wine" myth, urging reduced drinking to lower cancer risks. (NYTimes)

Small Social Media, Big Risks: As social media fragments into smaller, focused platforms, they foster tight-knit communities - both supportive and dangerous. While helpful for niche interests, these smaller spaces also risk amplifying extremist content unchecked. (WIRED)

Rebel With a Cause...Against Death: Challenge the acceptance of death - question aging and embrace the pursuit of healthspan extension. (Big Think)

Brain Games

Sports Connections w/ Northwestern

I couldn’t pass up the chance to include a brain puzzle that includes my alma mater.

Remember the rules - create 4 groups of 4 words based on some common theme from the list of 16 words below:

Credit: NYTimes

** For answer, scroll to the bottom of the email

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Brain Games Answer

We’re 40-something dads that felt our bodies and minds start to slow down and we’re not ready for that. We found too much information on every subject. So we started Thrive25 to transform what we’ve learned into something useful for the rest of us to spend just 5 min a day to optimize our health & longevity.

This newsletter is for you and we truly value your feedback. Never hesitate to reach out to us at [email protected].

To health!